have an account? log in
A problem shared is a problem halved! Sign up
Aidpage is a social
network for
mutual support.
Ask for help
Offer help
Sign up now
Talking about:
4 posts
357 visits

Elder Abuse

Leftbehind started this conversation
Sep 12, 2009

Hum where to start, i live with my Dad he s 83, dreams he s 40 and acts 120 and we live in lakewood New Jersey.

He has severe dementia and my brother has power of attorney but doesn't have the heart yet to get him into a nursing home so here i am stuck in the middle his other son.

Lets start off with the most serious problem at hand, he recently was scammed / robbed and cheated over the phone by some high pressure phone jockeys which walked all over him as he remained in La La land clueless as to what they had him do, by the time his brain fog left him some 6 weeks later and my brother got wind of it he had been fleeced of $40,000 dollars and has no clue how that happened and how to get the money back.

He was fleeced by SBG Global / Kelso Stergeon las Vegas Nevada it a sports betting setup where they hire homeworkers to place bets for others at local race tracks.

My dad assumes that he s some sort of rich guy and we have no chance to counter sue him to get our money back and we should allow their elder abuse to pass sceech.

My brother is working with an attorney hoping to get our money back in some fashion, my Dad is concerned because my brother thinks we might have to declare bankruptcy because we were suppose to live off off the $40,000 but now thanks to father all we have is $1,500 in ss payments each month.

I've read and heard various things on bankruptcy and they never agree on what s involved, does  one still keep their home and cars and how does one deal with the constant flow of bills that come due each month, car insurance, electric, phone/tv/internet / water / house taxs etc it never ends and how does the local court get the billing parties to back off  and not cut off services and of course lastly how does one find a good honest lawyer to work with, i assume this is a last choice no thanks to Pop who should never be left alone.

Any suggestions out their, any money angels who could support us over a period of time on a monthly basis till something any thing fell into place to cover the bills- any state or local programs that cover monthly bills or real state or local grant hand outs that won t charge me money with the hope of getting money, so fed up seeing grant scams on TV and no one gets jailed .

Any ideas how how i might move out and live on my own seeing how my Pops only job in life as far back as i can remember it to ruin and make it worse for the family on a day to day basis and he's such a never ending 24/7 happy pro at that so worthless a soul . .

Enough for now hoping for Angels, my e mail is usmixx@yahoo.com - thanks for hearing me out i needed that  . .      

Click here to add your comment...
shirleybill
Sep 12, 2009

Your brother has Power of Attorney. That means that he is the one who has complete control over everything. Meaning, when he does decide to put your father into a nursing facility, what is going to happen to you? Where do you actually fit into the picture? Except that you are the only one taking care of him?

You have some anger right now, and some resentment. So think about those things, and answer them for yourself first. 

reply to shirleybill
Starshine
Sep 12, 2009

Hi

I am sorry you are going through this 

I took care of mom with my sister and her hubby later on helped.

I was trustee and had durable power of attorney but my sister acted like she did. Oh I paid the bills with mom's money and after that my inhertience but when mom went to hospice I didn't want her to be catherized as that was her wish and told them I had durable power of attorney. When you have a stubborn sister as mine it didn't matter. They catherized her and she was really worried about having it done to make it easy on hospice.

The day she died her blood pressure had dropped and I should have been called but hospice and my sister waited until it was too late. She by then was in a morphine sleep but wanted to be there. Later, I told hospice (great place ) but that they don't know the internal stifle going on between familiy members and they should give all of them a call when things change.

I feel for you and know others going thru similar situations with two aging parents. 

I think WHOKNEW gave you great advice and I wish you the best in this most difficult time.

Sincerely,

Starshine

reply to Starshine
Anonymous
Sep 12, 2009

Dealing with elderly parents is always tough. However, since your brother has power of attorney, there is little you can do other than basically offer suggestions - he has the final say.

First thing is bankruptcy: This will cover major things like credit cards, loans, and outstanding debt (i.e. hospital bills) As far as I know it will NOT cover utility bills. You will be able to keep the home - but I am not sure about the cars - I think it would depend on the age of the vehicle and if there is any $$$ owed.  While you have to maintain your current utility and mortgage payments, the credit card company calls can be referred to the attorney that is handling your father's bankruptcy - but only the bills that are in his name. If you are filing bankruptcy, it would have to be separate from your father and that would cover the bills in your name. 

Your father, obviously cannot be left alone at any time, due to his illness. However, he can either be placed in a senior facility for dementia/ alzheimers patients or have 24hour care. Either way, you can move on with your life and add to the household income as well. Either housing/care option should be covered by his medical insurance. 

The NJ Dept of senior services would be the best place to assist with making the best choice for your dad.

reply to Anonymous